Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Empty Room

Hear the footsteps and opening door knobs. He is coming back. Everyday he comes back alone, taking off his shoes tired. He sat on the chair while he took out his phone from left pocket and put it on the table. He always checks his phone whether there is messages or phone calls. But there is nothing.
He opens all his social websites and smiles when someone comments on his facebook or gets friend invites. But, he is not fully satisfied because he expects more invitations and comments. That's why he keeps trying so nice to people. Now, he changes back to normal mood and keeps his lips tight feeling misery.
Hours and hours passed, he reads all the stuff of  friends like photos, links, and friends' making comments to other people he barely knows. He found out unbelievably that their comments between each other are warmer than they are to him.

He wants to call home and talk about experiences and activities for a day.But he doesn't want to cos they might notice their son needs accompany. They also can't do anything except listening to whatever he says. He really doesn't want to annoy them. Because they got their own problems. So let it be.. 
What about calling friends? He wants to call some of them. But what would he talk? He worries that his friends might think he is deadly boring because he doesn't really have anything interested to say. Topics about girls? He is not actually good playboy. Drugs and alcohols? He kinda like these stuff but still doesn't understand why his friends does not call him when they do these stuff. So, seriously he doesn't want to waste energy chatting with them. 

Suddenly the phone got message alert. His face becomes brighter and of cos he checks it. Yeah, he got the message but not from his friends. It is just an advertising message from phone service. Half discount for every 3 outgoing messages!! Thank you.. But, he doesn't have a chance to send even 1 message in a week.
So, there is nothing left to do but go to bed early. Lying in the bed, watching the ceiling thinking what if the ceiling falls to him. Good! he gonna die without suffering. But would anybody know he is dead in this room?

He is sleepy now. He's gonna dream about this guy. Everybody loves him and welcomes him. People can't live without him. He is funny, mature, patient, and most important thing is that he is so friendly. People acknowledge it and friendly back to him. His life is enjoyable. He's gonna dream about this guy almost every night.

Me, what possibly could I do for him? Nothing but just wait for him coming back and watch his daily boring life as an empty room he lives in...

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Man In the Mirror

Woke up every morning. See my image in the mirror. He too sees me back. I notice that this mirror guy might be bit tired. ( Don't think naughty XD ). I mean he actually slept but seems didn't get enough sleep. Probably I use to think too much before every time I sleep. Because I want to analyze my activities in the day. I keep wondering whether there was something wrong in communicating with my society.

I might have to live according to the situations around me. If they want to be funny, I become funny guy. But, when I look into the mirror, I ask myself am I really funny? Then why do I keep pretending?? They do laugh me when I make jokes but is it really laughable or just pretending AGAIN? Why can't be me?

I might look like a mature guy who is confident about being alone. But only me know that I am total isolated. People think this guy can do his own without help. So, just leave him. But when I am friendly and warm to them, they still keep pushing me away and neglecting!! So what would I do? Am I too disgusted?

The guy in the mirror uses to look into my eyes. He knows I am lying the society. Of cos, I have no choice but lie. Otherwise, how would I live? Society gives the particular places for liers. Liers and pretenders make friends each other. Honest people always left out...



People make fool to each other. They may not tell truth about what they feel. What if when someone tell genuine truth about him as he needs friends? At this time, people still think he is lying. He just wants some attentions. Sure, he may needs attentions to get friendships. Is it really wrong to do that? 

People keep wearing their masks. Why don't they just take off them for a moment and be honest each other? Why can't they notice their friends' goodness and friendly? We all have some bad experiences and weakness. We always feel inferior. But when friendships come, we should need to be open, shouldn't we? Instead, we think this is guy so open that we can cheat, betray and patronize him. How scary world this is huh?

People talk more than they have. Is this normal? Because, I once notice when someone is too modest, they think this guy is too pity. He is unqualified, poor and uneducated. They judge him too serious!! Why don't they congratulate him for being modest? He also wears mask but modest one. Is this because people impress only colorful masks? Yeah maybe, no wonder even a child likes colorful masks. So there is no place for white ones.    


Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Lonely Island

Am I arrogant? Am I freak? Why would I always face huge difficulties to find friends?  I have no idea why society cannot accept me who I am. Pretending face, lying , selfishness and betraying keep threatening me everyday. Even though I smile whenever I meet strangers and new people, nothing's changed. I still don't have friends as much as I think.

Please tell me society. Did I make any wrong? Tell me if I make you annoy. I can understand you, but why can't you just understand me a bit. Over the few years, I am still me. Nothing's different. Still me , eat alone, live alone, work alone and study alone. When people look at me, they think I am totally jerk. Why this guy keeps smiling? What a pity? Does he need accompany? He is so needy! Of cos I am. That's why I keep smiling until my jaws are locked.

You let the mind open and tell the truth to people you met. But what you get is just fake. They will notice you only when they need help. Other than that time, you lock up yourself in the empty and quiet room cos nobody remembers you to call. All things you have is just sitting and watching your outdated lappy that shows "Google". That's your only companion. If there is no internet, how are you supposed to live in this scary room? You have seen your friends' mail box. Wow, mails are over flowing. But, when you see (1) besides inbox, there is no words to say how happy you are.